Friday morning

I was pretty emotional writing that letter, and later in the day, I felt kinda silly and very, very crazy and embarrassed.  Thankfully, Andrew didn't think that because he texted me this morning saying it meant a lot to him and I still do, and that to give him a day to write a heartfelt letter of his own.  I told him not to bother, but he kept insisting he be honest.  I told him I just wanted things to be done, even that I wouldn't read it if he did send it.
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Last night with Ryan was so much fun.  I wasn't that emotional anymore and really excited to see him.  One of my roommates was upstairs with her bf so I took him into my room right away.  He brought a 6pack of my favorite beer even though I told him not to.  I really wanted one so I ended up drinking 2, although I wish we hadn't since he can go on forever and I don't feel as good.  We 69ed with me dangling off the bed, and then he spanked me for a while.  His cock is curved downwards, so it was a bit painful when we did it missionary style.  I switched it to reverse cowgirl for the first time and rode him, making sure he had a clear view of my ass and I think he really enjoyed that plus the wonderful view...he came quickly, taking off the condom and cumming on my ass.

After this it got awkward...I went to the bathroom and heard my roommate come downstairs to switch the laundry.  I also started my period!  But Ryan was cool about it and said at least we had our fun first and it was fine.  He kept saying how fantastic my ass was.  My roommate might've seen him as he closed the door but oh well...

So we just talked for the rest of the night and he left at 1:30 since the bar closes at 2 and that was the excuse he gave to his wife.

Thursday afternoon

I texted Andrew asking to talk.  I need to end this, and closure, but mostly...I think I should do the right thing and tell him exactly how I feel: that I like him, he hurt me a lot the first time around, and this time, it still hurts.  Pretty nervous and not sure how this is gonna go down...he didn't seem to care much in his responding texts, but I can't keep bitching at him.  All I can ask for is that he listen...

We are going to talk later this afternoon.  I am writing an email to him because I just cannot wait any longer to say what I have to say

I'm seeing Ryan also tonight.  I hope I'm not too emotional to have a good time with him...