Things are happening faster than I can write them...

...with Ryan.  I'll post the juicy stuff first.
He decided to take me to a really nice hotel (Hyatt) last week just for "something different".  We had been betting on March Madness games and I had won "tying him up".  I couldn't figure out how to do it but I had another idea...

We were just hanging out, making out a bit, when I decided to put my plan in action.  First I stripped him naked and told him to lay eagle-spread on the bed.  Then I went into the bathroom and filled up 2 glasses with water.  I took them out and made him hold onto them, and told him not to spill the water.

I put his already hard dick in my mouth and teased him with my tongue.  Ryan does not like to be restrained...I could tell because he kept pushing his hips up, trying to thrust into my mouth.  I kept having to hold him down...should've tied his legs down somehow!!  (Btw, Ryan is 6'5" and weighs 115 lbs more than me.)

I sucked on his cock and bobbed up and down until I decided it was my turn.  I climbed up my body and positioned my pussy over his mouth.  He is a very good boy and knew what to do right away.  I rubbed my clit back and forth on his tongue until I couldn't wait to fuck him.  Turning around, I climbed down and positioned my pussy over his cock, reverse-cowgirl style.  I know how much he likes to watch my ass work his cock, so I sat down and rode him slowly, letting him enjoy the view of his huge dick disappearing into my pussy.

Then I turned around and rode him hard.  He had his eyes closed and was moaning slightly, and kept telling me how good it felt.  It didn't take long for him to cum and he definitely serviced me for the rest of the night...;)
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Now this is where it gets complicated.
Ryan asked me to lunch on Thursday (St. Patty's).  This is the first time he has asked me to do something non-sexual or not involving sex.  So we do the lunch thing and we have a good time (as friends).  After lunch, we fool around in his backseat as we were parked in a parking garage.  We didn't have much time since I had to go to work and he was meeting his friends at a bar an hour away.  So we didn't have full-blown sex but still had a lil fun.

As he is about to drive me home, he tells me there's stuff he's been hiding from me.  I knew from the start, he wasn't a very open person and reserved about some stuff.  We've always been "platonic", never romantic or anything...it was sex, we were FWBs, never anything more.  But we had been talking a lot recently and meeting up a lot, so I guess he started to like me a lot more.

Ryan tells me he lied about not having kids.  He has a 2-year-old son, and shows me on the background of his phone.  He says he was sorry for lying, but that he didn't want to appear too old since I was so young.  He didn't think we were going to see each other for that long, and that we would get this close.  He said before he didn't care, but now he cares about being honest with me and cares what I think, etc...his second lie is that he is actually 31, not 30 (not a big deal after the kid thing).

He explains to me that he married his best friend, but they are not lovers.  She's never been a big sex fan, but he figured since they were best friends and good in every other way, things would eventually fall in place.  It never did, and it drove him crazy.  He said divorce wasn't an option because he never wanted to be divorced with a family...his 2 options left was separation or cheating.  He chose cheating.  He said he'd never gotten as close to another girl as me.

Also earlier during lunch, he kept saying something in Mandarin to me that I couldn't figure out (I'm fluent, I moved to US when I was 3), and I told him his accent was too bad.  We tease each other a lot and give each other a hard time about everything.  He then tells me that he was trying to say "You are beautiful".  I felt like an asshole.

I had very mixed feelings about this.  I know I said I only like Ryan as a friend, but I do like the attention from him, and we do have a great time in and out of bed and I want to do whatever I can to keep him. But if he has feelings for me, I'm not sure I can reciprocate.  However, I was still pretty shocked at his confession.  I wasn't pissed, but I was a little sad.  The kid thing definitely makes me feel guilty, and makes the situation complicated.  I wanted to keep thinking of it as a fun thing, but it didn't seem like I could anymore...

Ryan could sense I was kinda upset, but I didn't really want to talk about it. I wasn't really mad about the lying, just the gravity of the situation but he was very worried over my reaction.  He kept asking me to talk about it and tell him how I feel, I insisted on him getting me home.

He left for the bar, but texted me a few times.  He said "Please don't push away".
I didn't answer til I had a few drinks later that night and missed him.

He had also written me a drunk email when I wouldn't answer his texts.  Here's a bit of it:

I knew in my car that you were beyond 'surprised'. Not a big shocker,
I know--I think I was taken back by you non-reply. I guess you pushing away was
inevitable, but I dont want things to change. Maybe I care more than I should,
but I think we connect on a lot of different levels. Your not like most girls,
and I'm not like most guys.  As we are inadvertently becoming closer or better
friends or whatever--I didn't want to lie to you. I never want to seem like a
hypocrite. How you feel about all this does matter to me.

He kept pleading with me not to push away and said his drunk feelings= real feelings.  I told him he was too drunk and I would talk to him in the morning, but that I wasn't mad, just weirded out that he's a dad....

It definitely changes the situation but I still want to continue things the way they are.  I'm sure my behavior towards him will change as I want to try to respect the fact that he has a family...I never want to come inbetween them or take time away from his son.

We've been talking and things have been pretty much back to normal, except he is definitely more open now and we aren't as sarcastic towards each other. 

He also told me something funny...he was so distraught at the bar, one of his friends noticed and was giving him shit for being on his phone entire night.  So his friend peeks over and sees our convo.  Ryan kinda explains that we're seeing each other and like typical guy, he demands they do shots to celebrate! Lol...so now one of his friends know.  I'm glad for him because I knew he did want to be able to talk to his friends about our situation.

Another development

"The more we see each other, the closer we get and the more I don't like picturing you with another guy.  Just being honest."

-what Ryan said to me last time we were together (about 2 days ago)

A busy sex life

  I had one of the best times with Ryan ever last night.  We had a bunch of hot sex, talked, chilled, drank, and ate sushi.

Although the previous time, we had talked about some things that bothered me.  Ryan admitted he wasn't entirely truthful in the beginning with me.  Not anything big, but he lied about the number of women he had been with outside of his marriage.  It wasn't a huge difference and he said he didn't want to seem like a manwhore.  I wasn't really bothered by the dishonesty because it doesn't really matter to me how many women he's been with--although he also told me he hasn't been with anyone else since he met me--or who he wants fuck now.  But I did give him a really hard time about it because we like to tease each other about everything.

He also described me as "promiscuous", which I acted a little offended.  While I don't believe I am--I think I am just like most college girls, have hooked up randomly but not a while lot--I still don't want to be thought of as that.  I kinda think Ryan is a bit of a prude!  By the time he was 21, he had only been with 3 girls.  Now I compare all my guy friends and their numbers are WAY higher, like 30 not 3....so maybe it's a generation thing?!?  Ryan is like 9 years older than me, and he got married young and tried to stay faithful for  a couple of years.

But anyways, after I brought up these 2 points, I think he was trying to be extra nice to me.  He kept putting his arm around me and trying to cuddle with me, but I acted like I was too ticklish and pushed him away.  While I don't mind cuddling, it might be awkward and I like the friendship thing we have.  I'm sure he doesn't feel anything other than that, but he kept saying how he wasn't getting emotional and that we have a friendship...hmmm I wonder why he was so insistent?  Then he was also having doubts about our swingers club/sex club adventures.  He said he does really want to try 3somes, moresomes, and other sex club stuff, but basically admitted he would get jealous if he saw me take another guy's dick in my mouth.  I jokingly told him we could do 4-way oral with the other couple so no one gets left out.  He seemed ok with that LOL

Since his wife was out of town this week, he didn't have a curfew and didn't seem in any hurry to leave unlike other times before.  It was almost 3am before I told him I had to go.  We had gone a couple of rounds and we were both tired.  I can tell when Ryan is tired because he gets this look like he's stoned.  I think he hintd at wanting to stay the night--he said he brought a change of clothes for work the next day, since we had been drinking--but didn't outright say he wanted me to stay with him, so I decided my own bed would be better.  I'm not sure what would've happened if we had stayed the night....but I didn't want my roommates to think something was suspect with me.

Now the hotel room we got this time was cool.  One wall was a closet, but the outside of this giant closet was mirrors, so it was like having a wall of mirrors next to the bed.
He teased me for a while before he finally put his mouth on my pussy, so I teased him even longer when it was his turn.  I kept just licking the shaft of his cock and the head.  I pressed open-mouthed kisses all along it, but wouldn't take it fully into my mouth.  I could tell he wanted me to suck it so bad because he kept arching his hips to try to shove his cock into my mouth, but I had pretty good control.  I wasn't going to do it until he begged for it.  Finally, he says "No more teasing", so I take him into my mouth,  moving my lips up and down, deepthroating him til I gagged.
Then I got on my knees and he started to fuck me hard.  I looked over to the side and saw us in the mirror...I could see his cock going in and out of me.  He took a video of this too ;)
Ryan loves watching me on top, so after a bit I got on top of him and rode him.  I figured out that he really likes it when I grind back and forth against him, so I did this until he came.
Later we fucked again with me on top, but with my back to the mirror, so I could look behind and see me sitting on his cock.

It looked like this (but without the other guy).  It was by far the hottest image of the night.  Once again, I rode and grinded against him until he came.  He said I look like the hottest thing when I am on top of him.