The waiting game

I went crazy.  I was hoping this wouldn't happen.

It's Sunday evening.  When we left off, it was Wednesday.  I tried to sext Corey, telling him I bought new lingerie.  He just sent me a smiley face and said "really?"  I replied, yes, and that one was his fav color too.  No response.  Didn't hear from him all of Thursday or Friday.

Friday night I got drunk.  I swore I would not bother Corey since I knew he was trying to lay low and had a lot on his plate right now, but I was drunker than I thought.  And once I drunk dialed him, I knew it wasn't going to stop.  He couldn't talk of course so when I got home, he had texted me asking if I was drunk dialing him.  At first, I just innocently asked him why we haven't talked the last couple of times.  He said he had wanted to call me that day (Fri) and the day before too.  But what do words mean if there is no action to support them?  I didn't believe him, but he swears he has been really busy with work.  Not even to take 10 secs to text me?  He said I was right and that he apologized.  But I still don't buy it.  He drives 25 mins to work everyday and that is when he usually calls me.  Maybe if he was taking business calls, then it would be legit if he didn't call me then.  But I can't imagine he was on the phone the entire time, both the drive to and from work, for 3 days.

Corey just kept saying sorry, that he didn't mean to ignore me, that I have to understand he can't talk to me whenever he wants to anymore, that he can't talk around his family anymore, and only at work.  But he doesn't call or text me at work anymore...

I know he doesn't realize how I feel, how when we don't talk for an unusual period of time or when he says he will call but doesn't, that I worry something has happened.  We can only talk so often and so little, doesn't he want every opportunity to talk to me?  I know his focus must be on his family right now and it is very unfair of me to ask for anymore of his time...but I can't help but miss him, and want him to want me as much as I want him.

I asked him if this was how it was gonna be from now on:  I can't contact him, he can only talk when he is at work, so all I can do is wait around for him to contact me?  He replied that I have to understand that he has to be much more careful now, that he can't talk as often or as much as he would like to...
I drunkenly told him that I was sad without him, and he didn't get it.  He asked why would I be  sad when I have such a great life?  I have nothing to complain about in my life, I have been much more fortunate and luckier than others, but that doesn't mean I don't have my own problems and don't experience sadness.  I know Corey is attracted to independent (non-clingy) women, and at the moment I was exhibiting the exact opposite.  I told him that I missed him.  He just said "u too", which everyone knows that just means the guy doesn't really mean it and he types out the least amount of effort.
Then I told him goodbye forever, and he just said "really? ok..."
I said "bye"
He said "Night"
I replied, "Thats it?"
He said, "What do u want me to say??  I didn't say bye...I said night."

I couldn't think of anything to say after that.  A part of me knows the longer we continue this, the worse the ending is going to be.   I think a part of me knew I was doing the right thing by trying to end things before it got too messy.  But don't they say it is better to have loved and lost than to never love at all?  I haven't had such good conversation with someone AND really good sex in a long time.  I didn't want to end things with him but I wanted him to convince me not to end things.  I wanted a reason.

I can't tell from our last conversation if he took me seriously or not.  I still haven't heard from him.  How long should I wait?  If he doesn't contact me when he goes back to work tomorrow, should I forget about him?
Or maybe he is giving me space after my crazy freakout?  Or maybe he thinks things really are over?  Of course I cannot tell him that it's not completely over (at least not on my end) because I can't contact him....
I feel that even though we only met a month ago, that the times we have talked and spent together was a very special connection.  But was it special for him?  Does he like me enough to look past my crazy clingy freak-out session?

I can't bear the thought of NEVER hearing from him again, not knowing how he feels, not knowing if it's really over or not...but I feel like I have to prepare myself for the worst, I can't go ballistic the next time I drink and demand answers from him.  I don't want to wait around for him, but I do not want to text him first...